


old friends don't realize i'm here

by windychimes



Category: Bastion
Genre: F/M, Gen, restoration ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-21 01:23:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windychimes/pseuds/windychimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is white. Everything is disappearing. Zia reaches out but her arm disintegrates before her eyes. <i>I’ll see you in the next one</i>, is all she hears, and then she’s gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	old friends don't realize i'm here

**Author's Note:**

> Find the Tokyo Gore Police quote, win a prize.

 

Everything is green and bright. It’s pretty, maybe the prettiest thing she’s ever seen, but Zia can’t appreciate it. Everyone is saying goodbye behind her, but Zia doesn’t join in. If Zia turns around, she’ll cry, and Zia is tired of crying. Zia did enough crying before the Calamity, she doesn’t need anymore. Spilling tears never got her anywhere.

The Kid says her name and then there’s a big hand on her shoulder, warm and strong, and Zia still doesn’t turn around. If she does, she’ll cry. If she sees the Kid fade away like she is, she’ll cry. If she thinks about the Kid fading away, she’ll cry.

If she thinks about the Kid, she’ll cry.

He puts his other hand on her other shoulder and turns her around like he’s spinning a plate. He’s smiling his big sunshine smile for her, the big smile he only gives to her. She thinks there are tears in his eyes, but he’s glowing so brightly now, she can barely make out his face. She thinks there are tears in her eyes, too, but she’s fading so fast she can’t even feel them. _It’ll be okay_ , he says. _Because I…_

Everything is white. Everything is disappearing. Zia reaches out but her arm disintegrates before her eyes. _I’ll see you in the next one_ , is all she hears, and then she’s gone.

Zia wakes up. She’s in her house again, all alone again. It’s barely past seven and her father is already gone. Her father is always gone. There’s no bright sunlight streaming in, no feel of the wind of her face, no smell of a far off sea or low rumble of someone humming her song. But when has it ever been like that? Her head is foggy like the early morning and she tries to remember a dream that didn’t happen. She shakes her head and gets out of bed; she needs to get ready, she doesn’t have time to chase silly dreams. Maybe that nice boy at school will want to spend time with her today…

Her father’s face is dark like a starless night when he rushes her home. _Please, hide,_ he says. _Don’t leave the den under any circumstances._ His voice cracks like glass. _Zia, please. Please, do this one thing for me_. _Please. Please._ The Marshals come and take her father away and he’s still whispering please, please, please and Zia runs all the way home, fast as lightning. Her father… Zia’s father doesn’t show emotion; Zia can count on one hand the number of times he’s even smiled. If he was that scared… Zia curls up in his bed, a bed she only slept in once as a child before he told her she couldn’t anymore, and prays to Gods she doesn’t believe in for help.

Zia doesn’t sleep for many hours. A sickening feeling of familiarity wraps around her stomach like barbed wire and all that goes through her head is this has happened before, this has happened before. This has happened before, and she could have done something to stop it. She could have changed something. She could have…

Zia wakes without realizing she fell asleep. Everything is quiet; there’s no click-click-clack of bikes outside her window, no cawing of birds, no sounds of children rushing to school. The world is silent as the grave. She almost remembers remembering but her head fogs over again. But there’s no time for silly dreams; she has to see what’s wrong. She has to see what her father didn’t want her to. She gets out of bed and opens the door to a world that no longer exists. The volcano erupted, and the rain of ash poured down. The snow of death fell and accumulated. Everything is buried under rubbish. Like ruins…  Zia closes to the door and goes back to bed and doesn’t move for a very, very long time.

He never gives her his name, but everyone else calls him the Kid, so that’s what she calls him. He’s big and warm and when he takes her hand to lead her to the Bastion, Zia never wants to let go. He’s her favorite memory that never happened. He’ll make everything right, is what she thinks, but she doesn’t know why. He’ll fix everything, is what she thinks. He’ll make the world okay, is what she thinks. He’ll… he’ll…

Every time the sun shines big and bright behind him and he glows Zia cries and she doesn’t know why.

 _Sure you didn't drop that twangy thing on purpose? Just to see if he'd go after you?_ Rucks gives her knowing eyes because Rucks knows everything. She wonders why he even bothers asking her these things.

Maybe it’s just the satisfaction of having her admit it.

 _I knew he would come_ , is what she tells Rucks. Which is weird, because that wasn’t what she said last time. _He came last time._ Which is weird, because there wasn’t a last time. Rucks doesn’t say anything to that, and Zia goes back to tuning her harp guitar. Maybe they both remember things that never happened. Maybe both their heads get foggy every time they try to go back. Maybe they both have dreams that aren’t really dreams and memories that never existed.

Maybe they both don’t have time for silly dreams.

The Kid looks at the heart of the Bastion and weighs his options. The Kid looks at Rucks. The Kid looks at Zia. Zia wants to say, please stay. Zia wants to say, there’s nothing left for me in the past. Zia wants to say, I’ll miss you. But she doesn’t, because the Kid has already made up his mind. But she doesn’t, because she’s scared to speak. But she doesn’t, because this is what happened last time.

Last time. Her head goes foggy again. Maybe Zia should make time to chase silly dreams.

Everything is green and bright. Everything is green and bright. It’s pretty, maybe the prettiest thing Zia’s ever seen, but Zia can’t appreciate it. Rucks and the Kid say goodbye to each other. Zulf sleeps unaware in his tent, and maybe it’s better that way. Yeah, it’s better that way. It’s better if he doesn’t have memories when he starts over. Better that he won’t have dreams of things that didn’t happen. Better that he won’t have memories that never existed.

Maybe it’d be better for all of them that way.

The Kid says her name, puts one big hand on her shoulder, turns her around and gives her that big sunshine smile. Zia thinks she might be crying but she can’t tell, she’s fading so fast. _It’ll be okay,_ he says. She knows his next words and it hurts. _Because I…_

Everything is white now. _I’ll see you in the next one_. Zia closes her eyes and lets it over take her. This time, she’ll remember. This time, she’ll do it differently. This time, there will be no Calamity. This time…

Zia wakes up. She remembers hair pale as the moon. She remembers a voice like gravel. She remembers dark, empty eyes. She remembers… she remembers…

A thick fog rolls over her head. This is important, this is important, but it’s just a dream she can’t remember, right? She doesn’t have time to chase silly dreams. Something deep in her heart tells her to make time for it. Something deep in her heart says, _school doesn’t matter right now_. Says, _that_ _boy doesn’t matter right now_. Says, _that boy is bad news_. Says, _now, try and remember_.

But Zia doesn’t listen to her heart, because Zia never listens to her heart. That boy at school… she knows he’s no good even if she’s not quite sure why, but she’s so lonely, and he’s so nice. He said she was pretty, and no one’s ever told her that, not even her own father. Maybe she’ll do her hair up nice for him today. She has a little make-up, too, and if she wears that, he’ll _definitely_ think she’s pretty.

Her father’s face haunts her. _Please, Zia. Please, my daughter. Please_. She didn’t even have a chance to say, _I’m sorry_ , before they took him away. Didn’t even have a chance to say, _when this starts over, I won’t do it again._ Didn’t even have a chance to say, _I’ll be good next time, I promise_.

Didn’t even have a chance to say, _I love you_.

Zia sleeps, and Zia forgets, and the world turns to ash once more. Thick fog clouds her mind like it always does and she thinks, I don’t have time to chase silly dreams. I have to get ready. There’s someone waiting for her, and she wants to look nice. She does her hair up, she puts on make-up. She doesn’t know who’s waiting for her, but she knows someone is. Someone she likes, someone important. Her mind just gets foggier and foggier when she tries to think of more, so she doesn’t push it. Silly dreams can always wait.

Zia introduces herself to the Kid when he arrives. She curtsies and takes his hand. _Let’s go_ , she says. The confused look on his face is… it’s cute, it’s really cute. Zia doesn’t understand the fondness she feels for him, but she likes it. He’s not going to hurt her like that other boy did. Zia doesn’t know how she knows this, but it feels so right in her heart that it must be true. And her heart says, _think_. Her heart says, _listen_. Her heart says, _you can change this_. Her heart says, _remember._

Zia listens to the fog in her head instead of her heart.

This time, Rucks doesn’t say, _sure you didn't drop that twangy thing on purpose? Just to see if he'd go after you?_ This time, when the Kid gives her back her instrument, she leans up and kisses his cheek. This time, she says, _I knew you would come for me._ This time, she says, _you always do_.

Thinking about it still makes her head foggy, but she’s starting to get the hang of it.

She runs to her tent and hides because kissing a boy, that’s new, and that’s bold, and wow, she doesn’t think she was entirely ready for that. The Kid touches his cheek, gives his big sunshine smile to the air, and Rucks laughs. _That’s not what happened last time_ , he says, and then he wonders what last time was.

 _You don’t have to do this_ , she says. She takes his hands and almost looks him in the eyes. His big strong hands, big warm hands. She doesn’t know if she can handle them fading away once more. _We could stay like this. We could be a family._

Her words are so soft she doesn’t know if they’re real. _You could be with me._

The Kid squeezes her hands so hard it almost hurts and Zia knows his answer. _We have to try_. His hands are so rough and calloused from all his years of work on the Wall. Zia wants to remember these hands forever. _We could still… you know. I’ll remember, I’ll come find you._

Zia means to laugh instead of cry but instead she does both. _Third time’s the charm, right? Maybe it will work this time_.

‘This time’ is a phrase that makes sense to her now.

The Kid doesn’t remember and confusion covers his face like a waterfall. Zia shakes her head and presses the button to start over for him. _I’ll be waiting for you_ , she says, and her tears flow like rain. _I’ll wait every time_.

Everything is green and bright. Everything is green and bright. Everything is green and bright. It’s pretty, maybe the prettiest thing she’s ever seen, and now Zia can appreciate it. _You won’t have to wait_ , the Kid says, and his eyes shine bright like shooting stars as he kisses her breath away. She can already feel herself crumbling and she holds onto him as tightly as she can, holds onto a kiss she may not even remember. _I’ll see you in the next one_ , Rucks starts to say, but stops. He nods his head and walks out of the room. There’s no sense in repeating himself.

They’re breaking apart so fast now that they can’t stay solid enough to keep kissing. Zia flashes him a smile like diamonds with what’s left of her face and says, _I love you_.

The Kid’s barely more than an outline now. _It’ll be okay_ , he says. _Because I love you._

Everything is white and fading. _I’ll be mad if you don’t come for me_. Her body turns to dust in the wind. _So hurry up, okay?_

She smiles with a mouth that isn’t there, and lets go.


End file.
